when culture isn't all taiko and cherry blossoms

"Yes - please, I'd like you to meet Becky - she'll be in our play next month - along with her terrible japanese... "

is roughly how it translated, along with a sigh and eyes rolled up towards the ceiling. I apologised profusely in the usual manner and made my escape from the director (my future boss)- out of the theatre, away from the cast to a sushi bar for green tea and a dissection of the previous play with a friend.

How can one person feed and pinpoint your insecurities so directly? How do the japanese manage such a fine balance between rudeness and utter overbearing politeness? How do the daily "nihongo ga jouzu desu ne!" (You're really great at Japanese), after uttering barely a syllable of greeting fit in with this display of such ego crushing bluteness?

And then, in the midst of a whole range of ups/downs/highs/lows from one of the most intense and beautiful of skype conversations Mina hit on it. Of course the reason for the "nihongo ga jouzu" is somehow intimately connected to the "heta nihongo Becky". The Japanese awareness of positioning, of where one stands and of creating hierachy and respect not only through the complex language system, but also through lowering those close to you, in order to keep the 'other' the 'respected' one higher. As Mina described a Japanese friends story of her parents introduction, 'this is our lazy, good for nothing daughter - you're daughter is so much brighter and cleverer than ours... but here she is", the lack of praise, the lowering of her achievements, not because they weren't proud of her, but because they didn't want to show it, and they wanted the guest to feel as though compared to their humble selves - brilliant and outstanding.

Perhaps I am simply trying to stroke my own ego here - help save that small patch of self worth that feels batter into an unconfident and quivering mass by this whole Japanese language learning thing. But supposing my boss was introducing me in that way to keep the respect at a high level for the man I as introduced to... it's an interesting thought.

I wrote in my last entry that my blog had moved to becoming a record of Becky as opposed to a reflection of Japan. From yesterday I cannot help but see that the two are muddled one into the other. Far from being atuned to this place, with my work experience and homestay coming up I think the cultural aspects of one are already begin to muddy and interfere with the other.