An addict can't kick the habit

As you may have noticed I am not very good at weening myself off this blog. It's a bit like flirting - there is nothing more enticing than something that is forbidden. Surfice to say that as soon as I leave this blog will wind its way to a close in exchange for something a bit more discrete.

Until then however, with all the heady delight of living in a democracy with free speech I cannot quite bring myself to stop blogging. Atleast not quite yet.

So I breath deeply to write to you on Valentine's Day 2008. After my previous posts on the importance and value of free speech I feel slightly silly to confess that I do not want to use my freedom to criticise the government of Japan, or declare to the rooftops the injustice of power relations in the Japanese company, I don't even want to write a satire piece on the justice system or last years ponderings over chocolate clitoris' and the way Valentine's day in Japan reflects the worrying patriarchy in Japanese society as a whole.

No dear friends. Today, I want to use this freedom to discuss publically how damn cool Ninjas are. Perhaps it is symbolic of the feminist in me - who wants to learn to beat men up, as opposed to offering massive amounts of chocolate to them - in a more typical Japanese manner. Perhaps it is because I have spent far too much of the last few posts telling you about Burma and not about Japan. And perhaps it is just because I am now the proud owner of a Female Ninja Tool - and no I am not afraid to use it !

Despite my sampling of nearly every other Japanese stereotype - ninjitsu somehow passed under the radar - until now. But dear readers, in the interests of keeping this blog, atleast for my final 2 months in Japan - firmly focused on Japan - and to help prepare for my younger brothers upcoming visit - today I attended Ninja School.

One of the things I love about my job is the excuse I am given for doing cool things - just so I can write about them. Thanks to the "need" for "funky ninja photo shots" I not only got to throw ninja stars around, I also got to beat up several ninjas- with names like "Eagle Fire" san and "The Transparent Dragon". So who cares if they were pretending to be knocked flying by my apparently incredible techniques. If any of you has ever been forced to play WWWF with an older and younger brother for most of your childhood and adult life, you will understand the sheer joy of beating people into oblivion - even if it is just for the cameras. After years of being held in "head locks" or "the scissor" - (a particularly nasty move that involves having your legs twisted round each other until your whole body spins) -- atlast I was the attacker - and these ninja guys - unlike brothers - had to stop whenever I yelled "that hurts". It was all the fun of fighting, with none of the real life pain.

With swords and numbchucks and even fans the master sensei outlined some key attack moves. I was thrilled to learn that some of the best ninjas were women. If anyone has heard of my WWWF wrestling name "The Black Widow" this will come as no surprise to you. Some of the techniques even seemed like, at a push they could be used for everyday life. I have already begun planning my return to the family WWWF wrestling ring.

Ninjitsu seems to be the ultimate in efficiency - it's about getting things done as quickly as possible. So, if that means playing dirty, than fairs fair. At one point the sensei told me I was welcome to kick my fighting partner in the crouch if that aided his overpowerment. A bit later I was shown a ring for women ninjas. It had a serated edge, that if dipped in poison could be drawn ever so gently across someone's neck or face in a deadly caress.

Now as a sibling, here is a martial art technique I could really relate to - winning - whatever the cost.