Swordsmen, because no trip to Tokyo is complete without meeting atleast one

I wind myself in circles. Ideas floating, expanding, contracting and falling away.

This year and a half was always set to be about discovering what it is that I want to do. Where I want to be. Slowly I am learning the value of relationships, friendships, a love of one's body and a connection to a larger sense of purpose. It's as though I have learnt lessons - that have yet to be absorbed into my daily life. Though perhaps daily life is just a means of carving those lessons.

Yesterday I met a swordsman (his words not mine). He spoke about his decision to come to Japan to learn the art of swordsmanship - to do so would allow him to re-arrange the order in which his previous decisions and life were built:- firstly those animalistic desires of eating, sleeping, sex. Followed by emotions - those fuzzy ups and downs, that seem to have for no real stimulus. And finally our soul, or spiritual self, which I presume also includes our logic and reasoning mind. Usually they follow in that order of importance, but this guy wanted to upend the order. He wanted to have his mind control and rule over his body and his emotions. To do so he came to Japan to continue learning swordsmanship (wooden sword fighting - I'm not mocking it - just trying to describe what little I know of it). He made me feel very old. Perhaps it's cruel to say that - but there was a certain righteousness that reminds me of me once. Indeed, reminds me of me now, on occasions. How does one separate oneself into order of importance? How can one talk about an internal struggle of friction - where one's mind beats one's sex drive and body into obedience? Isn't a joy to be all of those things? Not a war to keep one ruling the others, but a collaboration - or an acceptance that if we're hungry, tired and cold we're likely to feel more than a bit depressed. And if our spiritual mind is not content (in whatever individual way that is) then for all the good food and mind-blowing sex we're not going to feel truly content.

He's a month into his time here. But maybe meeting him made me realise that in my one year and one month here I've figured out quite a few of the balances that I need. Most of them, involve the opposite of his approach. They rely on remembering that I am a physical being. Inverting his pyramid back the other way. I don't want to see my physical needs as something to be fought against - I want to enbrace them as central to happiness. Trying to make myself eat properly, stretch properly, sleep enough seems like a fundamental basis for happiness. And although, dear reader, no I have not achieved any of those basics, or even close to any of them. I am seeing their importance, slowly.